...

Everything has been figured out, except how to live.

Jean-Paul Sartre

Quote

The first contrivance of Madonna and the subsequent contrivance of Lady Gaga exhibits the absolute best qualities of Karl Marx's quote in the The Eighteenth Brumaire of Louis Napoleon, that history repeats itself, "the first as tragedy, then as farce."

Julian Ammirante, Prof. of Politics at Laurentian University @ Georgian College, Canada, October 2009

Heavy again.

I feel heavy and tired. Again. I never thought I would get here again. And I saw myself slippping downhill, yet I could not stop it. It's scary, it's suffocating. It's sad, it's tiring. / Today I saw myself in the mirror, the same way I saw myself few years ago. Believe it or not, I did not recognize the person in the reflection. It was a complete stranger. Even the eyes have lost their sparkle./ I can't do anything. I don't want to do anything. I struggle breathing and walking up the stairs. I do not see a point in my life at the moment. I dream of the future when this would be gone. The only thing that makes me alive is listening to Nina Simone at the moment./ How do I rise up the hill? How do I find inspiration to fly again? I have so many things to do - obligations, work, applications, letters awaiting eagerly. All I want to do is stay in bed and listen to music. Please help me. Where do I start? How do I get rid of all this? Where do I get the energy from? I feel somebody sucked the life out of my veins. It really feels that way. Yet, I have it all. Help!

Most Banned Books

Gay penguins book is most banned

Authors, artists and musicians are due to gather at a library in San Francisco to protest against the banning of books in schools and libraries in the US.

The event, part of the 27th annual Banned Books Week, has been organised by the American Library Association.

Since 2001 bans on 3,736 books and other materials have been requested.

In recent years, And Tango Makes Three - based on a true story and centring on gay penguins in New York's Central Park Zoo - has had the most ban requests.

The book's authors are Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell.

Reasons given by organisations and individuals for their requests to get it removed from public shelves, include "anti-ethnic, anti-family, homosexuality, religious viewpoint, and unsuited to age group".

Other works featuring in the most-challenged books list for 2008 include Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials and Khaled Hosseini's The Kite Runner.

Parents' concern

Pullman told Britain's Guardian newspaper that he was glad to be on the list.

However he added: "Of course it's a worry when anybody takes it upon themselves to dictate what people should or should not read."

The association said the aim of the annual awareness week, which ends on Saturday, is to remind US citizens not to take their freedom for granted.

Among those at the San Francisco Public Library event will be authors and musicians Ben Fong-Torres, Richie Unterberger and Roy Zimmerman.

They plan to stage a number of performances and defend controversial books.

In 2008 the American Library Association recorded 517 ban requests. Seventy-four were successful.

The organisation recorded that the most common reason given was that contents were too "sexually explicit".

Other classic literature subjected to complaints include JD Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye, The Great Gatsby by F Scott Fitzgerald and To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee.

The Harry Potter series by JK Rowling also feature on the list.

Earlier this week, it was claimed that Harry Potter author JK Rowling missed out on the Presidential Medal of Freedom because some US politicians believed she "encouraged witchcraft".

Top 10 Banned Books:

1. And Tango Makes Three, by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell
2. His Dark Materials trilogy, by Philip Pullman
3. TTYL; TTFN; L8R, G8R (series), by Lauren Myracle
4. Scary Stories (series), by Alvin Schwartz
5. Bless Me, Ultima, by Rudolfo Anaya
6. The Perks of Being a Wallflower, by Stephen Chbosky
7. Gossip Girl (series), by Cecily von Ziegesar
8. Uncle Bobby's Wedding, by Sarah S. Brannen
9. The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini
10. Flashcards of My Life, by Charise Mericle Harper

Фантастично списание

Скоро ще публикувам отвореното си писмо до главния редактор на списанието. Междувременно, разгледайте уебсайт-а им. Благодаря за вниманието. :)

Shock and horror

Did you know that the leading cause of death in young males under 25 in the UK is suicide?

Настроение

Препъна се във облака небето
и падна като купола на храм.
Извика нещо с писък самолетен.
А после аз видях, сърдит и ням,

как нощен дъжд приведен подковава
на облака изрязания ръб.
И синя радост в мене разклонява
короната си, мощна като дъб,


защото като палава минута,
внезапно грабната от дълъг ден,
живея аз от никого нечута,
а цялото небе живее в мен.

Петя Дубарова

P.S. - I was driving home from work after an exhausting day of 16 h of work and travelling. It had just stoped raining. The sun was setting. The feeling was peaceful, happy and majestic. Awe filled my soul. As if I wasn't there, I was just the observer. No fatigue, no negativity.

I wanted to capture the moment. I came home, randomnly checked a site, on which a friend of mine had posted the above poem. It depicted my mood perfectly.

I sit and smile now. And I love life.

'I would pay £3,000 for a big house'

BBC NEWS
'I would pay £3,000 for a big house'

By Kevin Peachey
Personal finance reporter, BBC News

Throughout the global financial crisis, many people have asked whether our children will make the same mistakes.

There have been calls for more personal finance lessons in schools, to help prevent young people falling into a spiral of debt when they get older.

But how much do they already know? We talked to a group of six pupils, all aged nine, from Cedarwood Primary School at Kesgrave, near Ipswich, about money matters. They were: Grace, Caitlyn, Keyara, Edward, Verity, and Ben.

Who receives pocket money?

C: If I'm really good I get £5, but if I'm naughty I only get £4.

“ I think it is hard to save up money because you have to be good and that is really complicated for me ”
Keyara

E: Because I'm a twin, I get £2 between me and a brother. I spend it on chewing gum.

C: I spend it on drinks and bags and shoes...

V: ...Make-up, or clothes, or sweets.

K: If I have a little bit of money, I spend it on books.

B: I am saving up because I am going on holiday. I keep it in a bank in my bedroom.

Reporter: You have a bank in your bedroom?

B: A mini one. It is a mini machine because you have a code like a password to get in it. You can withdraw money and put notes and coins in it.

C: I've got a pink one.

B: Mine's black.

C: You can put a pretend credit card in it if you have forgotten your code.

V: What happens if someone finds your credit card?

C: I put it in a special place.

G: I've just got a little duck, and you open a zip on its bottom and put all your change in it.

Is it easy to save money?

“ The most money I got was probably on Happy New Year's Day, but I spent it straight away ”
Grace

E: It is not brilliantly easy, I keep on spending it. I saved £68 when I had just had my birthday. I'll probably save it until I'm a grown-up and then spend it on a house, and the bills, and to feed my children.

K: The things I really want are a lot of money. I like to save up, but sometimes it is hard because the price gets higher and I have to save more.

G: The most I got was probably on Happy New Year's Day, but I spent it straight away. I bought a bike with it and spent the rest.

K: I think it is hard to save up money, because you have to be good and that is really complicated for me. I have to make my bed, wash up and all that, but sometimes I can't be bothered so I don't get any money.

Who knows how a bank account works?

E: Do you put some money in it and every month or so they add a bit more onto it and it keeps on going like that?

G: It is so you can save up and keep it private, if people try to break in.

B: I went in a bank and it was really busy. My mum wanted to get some money out of her bank - I don't know what it was for. She had to put in her Pin and she was brought some money.

G: A Pin is a code that you put into a hole in the wall. You put your credit card in and then you get your money out.

Rep: What happens if you've got no money in there?

All: I don't know.

C: Then you have to work until you've got a lot of money.

How much does a house cost?

V: £1,256.

E: £20,000.

K: £50,000.

C: I would pay £3,000 for a big house, £2,000 for a middle-size house, and £1,000 for a bungalow.

G: I would spend £55,365.01.

E: The 1p is vital

B: It is about £2,500 for a house.

Rep: Do you know an average house costs about £150,000?

G: Now I know why my mum keeps on saying that we are poor!

How are we going to raise all that money?

V: Work, or get two jobs.

“ If [the chancellor] was Darwin then I have heard of him - he's a famous scientist ”
Edward

E: Leave it to my dad.

G: Ask your mum and dad, but they might be retired...

C: ...Will they get money?

G: Yes, the taxes you pay go to the retired people to live.

C: My nanny and grandad love me because when they look after us they get about £20 a night.

Rep: Who else can we ask for money for our house?

B: If you have a credit card, can you withdraw it from the credit card?

Rep: If I borrow money on my credit card, what happens?

K: It comes out as a bill. My uncle said one day that he would teach me to be a lady who uses her money properly, so he asked for £1 and said he would give it back, but with a bit more.

G: If I borrow money off my mum, I wait so long that she forgets about it. But when they borrow money off me, I never forget.

E: I'm on exactly the same track. I keep quiet about owing my mum.

V: How much does a manager of a supermarket get? In Sainsbury's, I think Mr Sainsbury's gets all the money?

K: But he's dead?

All: Is he?

V: There is also Mr Tesco...

G: ...And Mr Budgens.

E: I've heard of Mr Bean.

If we borrow £150,000 from a bank, what will happen?

C: You've got to pay back more.

“ If I had £1m I would buy a new house in a hot country ”
Ben

Rep: When?

V: Every month.

K: Not every year? Because then you could save more.

Does anybody know who the chancellor is?

E: What's the chancellor?

B: Is he the boss of the banks?

V: He is something to do with money, and the President's friend.

E: Is he...

V: ...or she...

E: ...In charge of all the banks?

Rep: He's called Alistair Darling, have you heard of him?

E: If it was Darwin then I have heard of him - he's a famous scientist.

Do you know about taxes?

G: You pay something to the council or government and they give it to retired people.

“ If I'm really good I get £5, but if I'm naughty I only get £4 ”
Caitlyn

E: It is called a pension.

K: How come you don't pay for a hospital to go to see a doctor, how do they get money?

V: From taxes.

C: If it is an emergency you can't just say: "Here's some money before I have my injection."

E: You do have to pay. You've got to pay for the car park.

If you had £1m, what would you do with it?

B: I would buy a new house in a hot country.

C: I would drive to London, earn another £1m, then I would pay the Queen for her house. She can live in my old house.

K: I would spend it on a house and some pet snakes for my worst enemies.

“ [The chancellor] is something to do with money, and the President's friend ”
Verity

E: I'd spread it around 10 different churches and give £10,000 to the local hospital... Then I would buy a mansion.

V: I would buy Tescos, or I might buy Sainsbury's instead.

If you had children but not enough money to feed them, what would you do?

V: Go to my parents, or an older brother or sister, or a good friend.

E: I would first of all start begging on the streets, secondly start praying, and thirdly, ask my friends for some money.

G: I'd make sure I looked good so I could get a very rich husband who could pay for things.

Cedarwood Primary School took part in My Money Week - a schools event designed to raise the standard of financial education for young people. More than 6,200 primary school teachers and 3,200 secondary schools teachers were sent packs designed to bring more financial knowledge to the classroom.

The programme, organised by the Personal Finance Education Group, was part of an £11.5m project from the Treasury and the Financial Services Authority to help people handle their finances better.
Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/business/8159985.stm

Published: 2009/07/22 09:09:15 GMT

© BBC MMIX

Get a Life

I wish I write such a movie one day.

Best Monologue

Taken from the movie 25th Hour. Played by Edward Norton. Enjoy.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRO3RJ9cYSo

He did not drink.... (Maybe a little)

This is a truly precious moment. As prosaic and trivial (even sad and degrading) it may seem to some people, it makes me smile for some reason.

Click and Enjoy. There is no need to comment.

Po

http://www.facebook.com/inbox/?ref=mb#/video/video.php?v=1110480235027&ref=mf

On the Tube

Yesterday I witnessed a gross human stupidity. I mean, not even the lack of intelligence. I witnessed the lack of consciousness in individuals. What bothers me even more is the fact that I witnessed the stupidity of a group of 4-5 people happening at the same time.

Before I used to wonder if people possess the same level of capacity to develop their intellectual abilities and some are luckier than others to do so. Now I am convinced this is NOT the case. Now I believe some people are just born DAFT and anything constructive, logical and common sense (let alone intellectual or philosophical) is out of their realm. Call me Hitler, call me elitist, call me anything, I don't care, but read the following story and judge for yourself.

So, the accident takes place on one of the busiest London Tube Stations - Euston. It is past 5 pm and everyone hurries to catch the train and go back home. As I am about to take escalator number 3 to reach my platform, I see a huge queue of people lined up in front of me. The escalator is not working. Fine, nothing new. It happens every day somewhere on the tube.

I stand and wait my turn to move forward and go down the stairs for few seconds. The crowd hardly moves forward. I wait once again, the crowd isn't moving at all. After 5 minutes waiting in the hot tunnel (you know hot disgustingly hot the tube gets in summer, as there is no conditioning system in place), I finally came to set a foot on one of the top steps on the escalator. And again people are hardly moving in front of me. I notice that the crowd in fact isn't that big, but rather - there is someone blocking its flow.

In a minute I also hear the grunts, huffs and puffs of a young girl/woman and the accompanying sound of a heavy suitcase(s) being dragged down on the dead escalator stairs. One step, one loud grunt (clearly indicating the girl is in pain), another loud noise of a heavy suitcase down its path to being shattered. I soon realize it is 2 young girl with 3-4 heavy bags and pink suitcases on their shoulders and in their hands, possibly coming from a holiday. The same scene repeats long enough so that the enervated passengers start wondering what is happening and asking each other.

There are approximately 100 stairs (if not even more) and the ladies at the front have now passed almost half of the distance. As I stand at the higher end of the stairs, I notice that there are 4-5 men of all kinds of ages and body size standing right behind the girls, all looking in a good condition and able to help. Yet, they all just stare at the poor girls and merely wait to go down the next step once they has finished battling with it under the weight of all their luggage.

My patience runs out. I do not want to wait anymore as I just want to go home quicker. But that's not the point, I am used to queuing. After all, I live in London. I simply can't take any more the idiocracy of the people in front of me. I lean over to the right and shout: "Help the woman, for God's sake!"

At that moment, all the 20-30 people in front of me, turn around and look at me almost in amazement. Did they not notice the struggle taking place in front of their eyes?

The girls keep on fighting with their pink suitcases, the groans continue and the suitcases sound almost ready to break. I continue looking and stay shocked at the fact that NONE of those men offered their help. NONE! One of the girl makes few more noisy steps down, drops the suitcase and it breaks open. Everything is accompanied by big bangs.

She picks it up again. There are probably 3 steps remaining. Finally, some "gentleman" generously offers his help.

"Oh, would you like some help?"

Now, since he did not seem neither blind nor deaf, I pose the question - which word would you use to describe him? My choice is MOLLUSK. Fucking mollusk. Fucking useless mollusk. I regret I can't come with more colorful expression in English.

He did not take the load off her hands - he simply shared the load of the pink suitcase, carrying it along with her down the remaining 3 steps! The girl steps aside and the queue quickly resolves.

There is a pregnant young woman next to me. I need to share my frustration, so I ask her a question, expecting her to confirm my disbelief:

"Did you see what happened?" (She was looking curiously at the scene the whole time.)

"What?"

"No one helped the girl!"

She just shrugged her shoulders.


June 19, 2009, London


Where is this world heading to? Did we manage to become so disconnected from each other and so self-absorbed we can't even sympathize with pain anymore? Why do we care to see drama on the stupid gossip "celebrity" magazines when we can't feel compassionate for real suffering?

Am I?

People

So many people, so many faiths, walking around...

What are they up to?

Do they know what they are doing?

Do they have a purpose?

Or are they totally lost?

Why doesn’t anyone look happy????

I am riding on the bus, looking though the window, staring at people’s faces...

They are all sad, and grey, almost tortured...

Like the weather here,

With no outlooks for improvement...

Do they care?

Do they think???

Do they know what they want?

If yes, how is it possible???

My mind can’t process this image.

“This is not normal” – is its response.

How is it possible to live a life without knowing what you are doing???

Are we so socially constructed?

Can’t we think for ourselves?

Do we need TV and the government to tell us what to do???

Why are we born?

Why did we come to Earth?

To pay bills?

Is that all it comes down to????

And what happened to dreams?

Do people still dream?

Or have our dreams become socially constructed as well?

People dream to get that famous paper, put it on the wall, put on the fancy suit and they are all set!

Fantastic!

Or so they think?

Do they think?

Or follow?

Is that really what they want?

Is it, I am asking you? Is it?

Or are you afraid to think?

And maybe dream a bit?

Or is that too risky again?

Or imagine you actually doing it –

Doing that extra mile,

Stretching yourself to the limit,

Chasing a dream...

Being restless, counting, hoping, praying, doing...

Living....

What happened? Why have we all turned into stupid robots?

Is there a solution???

What is happiness?

What is success?

What is not?

I am sitting in a cafe, looking at people...

Same couch, three couples...

They sat one after the other...

They look the same – supposedly happy,

drinking fancy mocchaccinos,

Buying, consuming, hurrying...

for who knows where....

Wait!

What happened to your life?

What have you done?

What are you going to achieve?

A mortgage for the house to be paid in 20 years,

Working 9-5,

and getting frustrated when you have to hurry on your lunch break???

Coming home,

shouting at the kids,

getting annoyed at your spouse,

Doing the dishes,

piling up the laundry,

listening to the neighbour’s dog bark at three in the morning,

hating the alarm clock,

hurrying up after the bus,

swearing at the driver,

wiping the sweat off your forehead,

fixing your tie,

apologizing to your boss that you are late,

hating your boss,

dreaming of becoming like him so you can pour your nastiness onto some other poor lost soul,

checking your bank account,

feeling the crippling student loan suffocate your throat,

pulling your hair,

realizing it has somehow turned white,

trying to forget you are getting old,

staring at the computer at the pointless gossip column,

dreaming you lose your growing beer belly somehow magically,

stressing over some weird figures on the sheet,

trying to make sense of them,

feeling hungry,

counting the hours till 5,

counting and still counting,

listening to your colleagues complain,

complaining along,

going to the pub,

drinking beer,

forgetting about the world for a second,

becoming delusional and stupid,

laughing at pointless jokes,

going home reluctantly,

dropping off at Sainsbury’s for some last minute shopping,

eating the semi-frozen microwave dish your spouse “cooked”,

showering and wanking yourself off to Jordan,

wish your wife would suck your cock,

falling asleep on the coach,

waking up early in the morning

to start your perfect life again....

Isn’t this what you wanted????

Isn’t this what makes you happy?

Or so you thought????

Have you really thought????

Oct 19^th, 2008, London