Am I?

People

So many people, so many faiths, walking around...

What are they up to?

Do they know what they are doing?

Do they have a purpose?

Or are they totally lost?

Why doesn’t anyone look happy????

I am riding on the bus, looking though the window, staring at people’s faces...

They are all sad, and grey, almost tortured...

Like the weather here,

With no outlooks for improvement...

Do they care?

Do they think???

Do they know what they want?

If yes, how is it possible???

My mind can’t process this image.

“This is not normal” – is its response.

How is it possible to live a life without knowing what you are doing???

Are we so socially constructed?

Can’t we think for ourselves?

Do we need TV and the government to tell us what to do???

Why are we born?

Why did we come to Earth?

To pay bills?

Is that all it comes down to????

And what happened to dreams?

Do people still dream?

Or have our dreams become socially constructed as well?

People dream to get that famous paper, put it on the wall, put on the fancy suit and they are all set!

Fantastic!

Or so they think?

Do they think?

Or follow?

Is that really what they want?

Is it, I am asking you? Is it?

Or are you afraid to think?

And maybe dream a bit?

Or is that too risky again?

Or imagine you actually doing it –

Doing that extra mile,

Stretching yourself to the limit,

Chasing a dream...

Being restless, counting, hoping, praying, doing...

Living....

What happened? Why have we all turned into stupid robots?

Is there a solution???

What is happiness?

What is success?

What is not?

I am sitting in a cafe, looking at people...

Same couch, three couples...

They sat one after the other...

They look the same – supposedly happy,

drinking fancy mocchaccinos,

Buying, consuming, hurrying...

for who knows where....

Wait!

What happened to your life?

What have you done?

What are you going to achieve?

A mortgage for the house to be paid in 20 years,

Working 9-5,

and getting frustrated when you have to hurry on your lunch break???

Coming home,

shouting at the kids,

getting annoyed at your spouse,

Doing the dishes,

piling up the laundry,

listening to the neighbour’s dog bark at three in the morning,

hating the alarm clock,

hurrying up after the bus,

swearing at the driver,

wiping the sweat off your forehead,

fixing your tie,

apologizing to your boss that you are late,

hating your boss,

dreaming of becoming like him so you can pour your nastiness onto some other poor lost soul,

checking your bank account,

feeling the crippling student loan suffocate your throat,

pulling your hair,

realizing it has somehow turned white,

trying to forget you are getting old,

staring at the computer at the pointless gossip column,

dreaming you lose your growing beer belly somehow magically,

stressing over some weird figures on the sheet,

trying to make sense of them,

feeling hungry,

counting the hours till 5,

counting and still counting,

listening to your colleagues complain,

complaining along,

going to the pub,

drinking beer,

forgetting about the world for a second,

becoming delusional and stupid,

laughing at pointless jokes,

going home reluctantly,

dropping off at Sainsbury’s for some last minute shopping,

eating the semi-frozen microwave dish your spouse “cooked”,

showering and wanking yourself off to Jordan,

wish your wife would suck your cock,

falling asleep on the coach,

waking up early in the morning

to start your perfect life again....

Isn’t this what you wanted????

Isn’t this what makes you happy?

Or so you thought????

Have you really thought????

Oct 19^th, 2008, London